I knew the day was coming when we would be forced to send these kids back to the Ukraine. After three weeks Y had fully integrated into our family and was 100% an Erickson. Heck, Hailey and Y even started picking at each other exactly as siblings do. To help ease the pain on all sides we sat down Saturday night and started a scrap booking marathon. It as all hands on deck, all pictures on the table, and no holds barred when it came to getting Y's memory book put together exactly as she wanted it. I learned all kinds of things that no man's man has any right to know such as:
- There are such things as pattern cutting scissors
- Not all glue is supposed to be used for gluing things together. That's right gentlemen, there are decorative glues out there that you aren't supposed to glue with...
- Texturing, layering and teasing aren't just for hair and yes I know I probably shouldn't know those terms either...
- Finally, when he hears the term scrap book, a man would think that scraps would be used to create the book. Nope... there are special papers, inks, stamps, stickers, fabrics, ribbons, books and pages for the purpose. You can even go nuts with cutting tools, dies, and even dedicated cabinets or tables! Snap On is missing out on a whole other market here...
Once the major creative session was winding down for the night, Betsy came up with the idea of creating letters to Y pages. One from each of us. It's times like this when I remember why I married her :-) So dark thirty rolled around and we rolled out of the bed and went to work on those pages. The early wake up call was worth it to see Y's face when she saw those pages. Knowing that she'll be able to keep that book close to her during these next few months and know she has a family who loves and misses her very much. It just feels so much like we left one of us behind.
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| The girls right before we had to leave for the airport...goodbyes are really hard. |
It's hard to put into writing what is going through mine and my family's hearts currently but I can at least attempt to put you into a position where you can get an idea. Imagine if you will that you were told that you had three weeks left with your daughter or son. During those three weeks you can cram in as much as possible. However, at the end of those three weeks your son or daughter must get on a plane, leave the security of your home, and return to a place where there is no privacy and no guarantee of safety. Where might-is-right rules the day and where you know your child will be stripped of all his or her belongings save for those few memories and trinkets that cannot be used for the good of the institution. You will have no control of their diet, education, or sleep patterns. If they get sick, you will not be able to help. You won't even know they are sick. What would you do to get your child back? We are so thankful there are at least a few incredible folks there who see the kids regularly and love God and the children very much.
That is what our family is currently feeling and why we are marching down the path towards international adoption. Y is part of our family now and it's our job to do everything in our power to bring her back home. The potential rub here is that the Ukraine follows a blind policy when it comes to adoption. In other words, we are not guaranteed a specific child until after our paperwork has been submitted, reviewed and approved. Based off of the paperwork children will be selected for adoption. While our adoption agency will work towards the goal of completing the adoption of Y into our family, there is still a very real possibility that she may be adopted by another family, sent into a foster home, or for some other reason we may not be allowed to adopt her. We have to prepare ourselves for this possibility but in all truthfulness the idea that Y wouldn't be able to come home has not entered into the equation for me. I know there is a risk. I've seen and heard of this happening to others. However, I don't believe that God would place this child in our path if we weren't supposed to help. So now I travel this path with the certainty that in the near future she will return home and the adventure of learning to live full time in a strange new world will start.
The Sidewalk Prophets summed things up perfectly when they wrote This...
When the Lord works on your heart and you allow Him to guide your actions, trials such as these are part of the package. That doesn't make it easier though. So now the name of the blog takes on a new role. Even though originally created to allow the girls to send messages back and forth, now this blog will assume its next role during this part of our lives and act as a recording of all of our international adoption experiences be they good or bad.
I pray for a quick return for all those children and families who find themselves in this same situation and I am thankful for all of those souls willing to both undertake this journey or stand by those who will. May God guide and comfort you on the path ahead.
