Bloopers

You know the moments, those moments when you pray that nobody is looking but you're sure everyone is.  Well they seem to happen even more often when you're out and about in a foreign land (or traveling to one).  Those moment along with some of the odd ball things we did but you might not expect or things that might be useful to know and don't fit anywhere live on this page:

 Watch Cows

 Ukrainians are nothing if not resourceful.  On days when the weather is good we are greeted by watch cows driving up to the orphanage.  These critters are hooked up to rocks, stakes or whatever is handy using heavy chains that look like they could lift a truck.

 

 

They have the funkiest horns and could really care less what you're doing.  But the way they're spaced it's almost like they're guarding the grounds. It's actually a smart setup.  The cows get lunch while mowing the grass and giving it its spring feeding at the same time.  Ok they aren't a blooper but I got such amusement out of them that I had to post them to the bloopers page.  Yeah the kids and Yivgenny probably thought I had lost it.  What can I say?  Simple things for simple folks... 

 

 

 

Always check the number before sitting down

 
(Jon) I will claim this one with pride.   While on the flight over I tended to get up and walk around for various reasons. Legs hurt, can't sleep etc.  Well one of the problems with walking around half asleep is that you occasionally do bone headed  things.  I attempted to sit down in the wrong seat not once, but TWICE during the flight.  The poor woman that I randomly picked (same woman both times btw) must have thought I was either stalking here or not completely there.  The sad part?  The second time around she put her New York Times on the seat to ward me off.  What did I do?  Thinking how nice the flight attendants were to bring us papers to read I picked it up and started to sit down!  I think Betsy almost passed out from laughing.  (Almost wish she had then I could have added that to the bloopers)  All I can say is that it's a good thing they don't allow mace on the plane!

Hey Honey I washed the Dishes

For those that haven't been overseas, Dish washers come primarily in the the two handed variety.  Machines are out.  So it's a good thing to wash as you go right?  Well in our apartment you need to wash the sink before you wash as you go and don't leave the dishes in the sink to dry.  Here's why :

That's right folks, that water is coming back up out of the pipe.  This is a tamer picture as a courtesy to the wife.  There have been much more violent back washes as well.  The problem may be that they don't use an S pipe in the sink plumbing to block back washing and there seems to be a restriction somewhere.  Regardless, we get to see exactly what the folks above us sent down the sink pipe recently.  There have also been some interesting sounds and smells coming out of those pipes.  In case you're wondering that spoon is still sitting in the sink and I haven't bothered putting anything else in there since the first back flush.  Every morning I wake up and clean the sink before the Mrs. sees it.  I don't believe she would be too happy with what shows up overnight.  I have figured out a kinda neat game though.  Think of it as pop goes the weasel plumbing style!  Cram the stopper down into the drain as hard as you can and wait.  The burbles come and the burbles go until POP! the drain plug blows!  Hey, simple games for simple minds what can I say?  I'm sure that listening to me try it the first time was a proud moment for the Mrs. ;-)  (I tried to get her to watch but she doesn't want to see it)

Is that your...

Proof that we have too much garbage in our lives even here in Ukraine.  A jingle went off mid day and it went something like this...
 
1.  Is that your phone?
2.  Not my phone. Your phone?
1.  Don't think so.  Where is my phone?
2.  Where ever you left it.  Is it in you jacket?
1.  It was.
< Maybe I should call it.  Wait, that would cost 5.00.  Never mind. > 
1. There's the ding again.
2.  Where did it come from?
1.  Hard to tell.  Everything echos in here.  Found my phone (in my pocket). Not my phone.  Was it the ipad.
2.  Checking.  Not the ipad.  What ringer did you set on the Ukraine phone?
1.  Didn't set one.
2.  Did you check the Ukraine phone?
1.  Checking.  Wait.... It's the WASHER.
2.  Really? We need to get one of those!

Yup, the samsung washer in the apartment has an alert that sounds like a  ring tone.  No chance I'll ever put one of those in my house.  I could only put up with that techno check but so many times before I put a hammer through the ringer on that blasted thing.

I need to dump some of these electronics...

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And The Scout Motto is:

Be prepared and the Ericksons firmly adhered to that motto.  Every recommended item that previous brave adventurers wished they had brought along was faithfully schlepped along iwith other things in the ugliest blue suitcase you’ve ever seen.  Hey, the case is a hard shell, it was on clearance and guaranteed not to be picked up by another traveler…

Trust Me, it's uglier than it looks. 

Our apartment seemed to be custom tailored to our needs.  Right smack in the middle of the main room is an empty bookshelf.  It became travel pack central.  Everything we need or use that isn’t clothes or food lives there:

Yeah, Betsy went a bit nuts in the travel section...

Did I mention that my wife took the recommendations extremely seriously?

Some of the notable items that have been put to good use are:

            Shout wipes

            Tide detergent

            Clorox Wipes

            Hand sanitizer (see a theme here?)

            Kleenex

            Misc other wipes.

            Febreeze

            Wrinkle Releaser

            Colgate wisps

            Sleep aids

            First Aid kit  (She knows me too well)

Honorable mentions that didn’t make the shelves because they must live elsewhere:

Starbucks Via packs.

Spare Wireless Router

Power inverters and plug adapters

 It sounds excessive and it just about maxed our checked bag weights (49.6 and 48.7 respectively)  but the items above have been a god send these first days in Ukraine.  Thanks Guys for all the help!!!

All for a pair of shoes:

Driving and parking are both sports in Ukraine.  Yevgenny is a professional in both.  Nerves of steel and an uncanny ability to make a hole for his little grey car.  He can even hone in and find a REAL parking spot where you and I would be driving around for hours unlike some of the drivers shown on our friend's blog and ours : Parkalympics (scroll down for the pics)

New York drivers have nothing on this gentleman.  However, even Yevgenny has his moments... 

Today we decided to go and buy Y a new pair of proper black shoes.  She was stuck wearing a pair of very warm boots and I can just imagine how miserable that is given the current warm weather.   Being the gentleman that he is, Yevgenny jetted us off to a local spot to get shoes.  Not one of those expensive tourist traps but a small corner market tucked away in the middle of Simferopol.  To get there we had to dodge cars and potholes down streets that would be tight for one car let alone two side by side.  When we got to the market there was no parking.  Without hesitation our driver pulled down a series of alleys and right into a parking lot with an empty space.  The problem?  When we came back someone (likely the owner of the spot) had parked us in.  So with a bit of eyeballing Yevgenny decided there was space to exit between the cars.  I jumped out to spot, and we proceeded to do a bit of creative maneuvering I hadn’t done since my off roading days.    Ultimately we got the car between the other two with about two inches to spare on either side.  On the way to our next stop Yevgenny called up our interpreter and proceded to talk about what I believe was the shoe buying adventure (nothing went right, couldn’t communicate, couldn’t find black shoes, found a black shoe, couldn’t find it’s partner, etc.) and the parking space extraction.  While I could only pick up every tenth word, he sounded surprised and at the same time flustered.  Hopefully my spotting wasn’t an insult to him but for me it was definitely an adventure!  Alas, no pictures.  We will do better next time…

Trying to buy a simple pair of shoes in a foreign country.  Who knew it could be such a challenge?